Essays

Gender Blending:
On Feminization, Sissies, & Sharing

There are so many ways to explore this form of intimate companionship and dominance, and it deserves more respect than we give it.

On Matters of Taste

You have to concede that to those who can stand it, these things might be more than a head rush; they might actually be delicious.

On Gynocentrism and the “Male Gaze”
in Erotic Fiction and Pornography

…we’re not talking about the bizarre irregularities of culture, we’re talking about my systemic dysfunction as a human being, and that needs to be stamped out immediately.

What’s Wrong with Porn?

Porn is far enough outside of the mainstream that there’s no culture that holds producers accountable.

Mischaracterizing Sex

The only time we ever address sex publicly is to remind people what a sordid, painful, embarrassing affair the whole thing is to begin with, and that has got to change.

Art “versus” Porn?

We have to stop pretending that a thoughtful, enlightened, sophisticated approach to life and to human expression is necessarily a chaste one. It’s bad for art, it’s bad for sex, and yes, it’s bad for society.

The Strange, Twisted World
of Erotic Financial Domination

The idea… that the erotic equivalent of panhandling is apparently so popular, and that there are so many people who perpetuate and participate in it in spite of its toxic nature, is a unique kind of depressing.

She’s Got the Look

[I]t’s often hard for a new Domme, or really the uninitiated in general, to separate the essence of domination, power, and control from the image one often has of a “dominatrix”.

On the Monetization of
Sexual Content

[W]e live in a culture that is so abhorrently, pathetically ashamed of our relationship to erotic media… that it promotes a furtive, skeevy, back-alley way of dealing with the content in the first place.

What’s Really Wrong with
50 Shades of Grey

The one thing I learned very quickly about 50 Shades of Grey… is that it’s bad. Really bad. Just incredibly really very bad. I mean it. Sincerely poor writing.

Coming Out Kinky, or:
Why I Am a Foot Fetishist

There’s nothing wrong with me or the way I like to have sex.  And it feels good to finally be able to say that.