Essays

Anything Goes?

If you’re involved in this community for long enough… you will invariably come across some things that will shock you, and some that will even trouble and disturb you in a real and serious way… Or, as such things are known more popularly, “some real fucked up shit.”

On the Power of Things: Sexual Fetishism

Sexual fetishes are among the strangest things for those who don’t possess them. It’s often simply a non sequitur for most people. Why feet? Why leather? Why balloons?

InstaDomme: FemDom and Kink on Social Media

She is, in short, at least as defines the typical case, a very young woman (I should say most often in the range of 18-22), with a relatively new account that has a relatively low number of posts, the sole purpose of…

Was Gustave Courbet the First Modern Pornographer?

Erotic imagery… goes back at least as far as the Ancient Romans, but Courbet seems to be the first to train his gaze upon that which truly inspired him; not just the physicality… of his models, but also… their souls.

Play Time: On BDSM as Theatre

It is often something you hear about kink, that it’s all just make believe. That it’s roleplay. And for some people, I’m sure that’s what it is.

Gender Blending:
On Feminization, Sissies, & Sharing

There are so many ways to explore this form of intimate companionship and dominance, and it deserves more respect than we give it.

On Matters of Taste

You have to concede that to those who can stand it, these things might be more than a head rush; they might actually be delicious.

On Gynocentrism and the “Male Gaze”
in Erotic Fiction and Pornography

…we’re not talking about the bizarre irregularities of culture, we’re talking about my systemic dysfunction as a human being, and that needs to be stamped out immediately.

What’s Wrong with Porn?

Porn is far enough outside of the mainstream that there’s no culture that holds producers accountable.

Mischaracterizing Sex

The only time we ever address sex publicly is to remind people what a sordid, painful, embarrassing affair the whole thing is to begin with, and that has got to change.

Art “versus” Porn?

We have to stop pretending that a thoughtful, enlightened, sophisticated approach to life and to human expression is necessarily a chaste one. It’s bad for art, it’s bad for sex, and yes, it’s bad for society.

The Strange, Twisted World
of Erotic Financial Domination

The idea… that the erotic equivalent of panhandling is apparently so popular, and that there are so many people who perpetuate and participate in it in spite of its toxic nature, is a unique kind of depressing.

She’s Got the Look

[I]t’s often hard for a new Domme, or really the uninitiated in general, to separate the essence of domination, power, and control from the image one often has of a “dominatrix”.

On the Monetization of
Sexual Content

[W]e live in a culture that is so abhorrently, pathetically ashamed of our relationship to erotic media… that it promotes a furtive, skeevy, back-alley way of dealing with the content in the first place.

What’s Really Wrong with
50 Shades of Grey

The one thing I learned very quickly about 50 Shades of Grey… is that it’s bad. Really bad. Just incredibly really very bad. I mean it. Sincerely poor writing.

Coming Out Kinky, or:
Why I Am a Foot Fetishist

There’s nothing wrong with me or the way I like to have sex.  And it feels good to finally be able to say that.